"After the deep depression took hold I lost the total control over my suppressed feelings. I felt everything so deeply. This was truly frightening. The control I had had was all gone, daily functioning was nearly impossible, eating, spending time with people, working, shopping were very difficult. The flipside of this was the less control i had, the more I started to see the possibilities of feeling, caring for animals and children, seeing beauty everywhere. Plus my creativity blossomed helping me to use painting as a means to cope and have insight into my life. My Alice in Wonderland moment."