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Self-Portraits

Works by Nigel Beck.

 

"In April 2015 everything changed. Originally from Yorkshire and a Royal Air Force veteran, I moved to Nova Scotia Canada in 2010, with my family to follow a dream and pursue a different way of life. A lovely house, great jobs followed and everything settled into exactly what we wanted. Out of the blue, as is often the case, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011. Although she thankfully beat it, the combination of treatments, work stresses, not knowing if she'd survive, all in a new country, began to take a toll. This culminated in a hospital visit, pneumonia and then a hard and fast crash into a deep depression.

As an accomplished and social individual this was completely off the scale. I had to fight to get through each day, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day relying on self medicating sleeping pills, alcohol and totally disengagement - a perfect storm. As a photographic artist I'd enjoyed the success of my first gallery show only months before and yet here I was unable to even pick up my camera, totally at odds with a passion I literally lived for. At the deepest, darkest point something 'kicked in' I just had to capture what was going on, if I wasn't to survive this I had to leave proof, for others to 'see for themselves' just how lost I'd become.

Going through 16 double 'A' batteries and using my tripod and any available household items, I began capturing (all in one take) how I felt I looked to the outside world. The post editing literally took a couple of hours and there I was, trapped not only by my depression, but captured for all time by my camera, a person who today I now no longer recognize. Now in full recovery, my aim is to raise awareness through projects like this, to get people talking and offer help and reassurance to those in need" See more of Nigel's art on his Facebook.

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